Daphne Wayne-Bough is a composite of many women who have inspired her creator. Here are Les Grandes Dames who are all facets of the wonder in a flowery dress that is Daphne.

Sunday, 18 February 2007

HYACINTH BOUQUET


A good 50% of Daphne is shamelessly lifted from Hyacinth Bouquet of the comedy TV series "Keeping Up Appearances", played by the brilliant Patricia Routledge. Daphne shares Hyacinth's blatant snobbery, self-delusion, total obliviousness to other people's discomfort, obsession with What the Neighbours Will Think, love of entertaining, and of course a nice flowery dress. The hapless Richard was equally an inspiration for Harold, although the real Harold cannot be named for legal reasons.

MADEMOISELLE PIGGY


The porcine diva, with her magnificent bosom, her luscious locks, and her gorgeous frocks, is a seminal influence on Daphne, even down to our heroine's bizarre attraction to small green smart-ass frogs.

CHRISTINE HAMILTON



Another bossy deluded woman with a hapless husband. Christine somehow manages to evoke a dominatrix and a fluffy kitten at the same time. You can imagine she and Neil take turns in tying each other up (not too tight, dear, I've left something on the stove). Daphne admires her dress sense (navy blue and pearls, never dates) and her bravery after a cruel reversal of fortune.

FANNY CRADOCK

Daphne is an enthusiastic cook and loves entertaining. She was in her element when out in the tropics with Harold, floating about in a caftan with a small army of servants at her beck and call. Her menus are always rather reminiscent of the 1970's. Her culinary idol is Fanny Cradock, the inventor of the prawn cocktail and very bossy woman.

MAE WEST



There is a slightly raunchy side to Daphne occasionally. She likes younger men. Mainly because she refuses to accept that she is on the wrong side of 50 39 and thinks she looks a bit like Angelina Jolie in a good light, but also because they are strong and can carry heavy shopping bags. Her usual trick is to lure them with food and alcohol and then sequester them in her bedroom and subject them to gruelling acts of a lewd nature before taking them shopping. Few have survived.

MARGARET DUMONT


This statuesque and very funny lady was the perfect foil to Groucho Marx's leering smart-alec on the make. She was regal, wealthy and completely oblivious to Groucho's humour directed at her and his hand in her purse. A lot of people thought they were married in real life, although they were not. But they should have been.

MAGGIE MAGGIE MAGGIE

And talking of bossy women ... despite the instinct to gag felt by Daphne's creator every time she sees a picture of this woman, it has to be said there is an element of Maggie in Daphne. The conviction that she is always right, for example. However, Daphne is really a fluffy little kitten compared to the Iron Lady. Had Maggie tried wearing flowery dresses things might have turned out quite differently.

ANN ROBINSON

Daphne can be quite bossy sometimes, as the late Harold would attest, if he were still with us. Strong women tend to attract men who don't mind being dominated. In fact, some men quite like a bit of leadership in their woman. What's in it for the strong woman? Someone to carry the handbag, of course.

CARMEN MIRANDA

The diminutive Portuguese entertainer (no she wasn't Brazilian, she just grew up there) was known as the "Brazilian Bombshell" in the 1940's, and this is where Daphne derives her vivaciousness, uncanny sense of rhythm, and knack for balancing fruit on her head. One of Carmen's most famous songs was "Chica chica boom chick!" which sums it all up really.

MRS DOYLE


Notwithstanding their shared Irish ancestry, Daphne feels Mrs Doyle could benefit from a few hours with Trinny and Susannah. However, there is something about this woman's maternal attitude to the priests on Craggy Island(especially to the young one) that touches her heart. Bert is baffled by (but resigned to) Daphne's endless cups of tea and offers of Hob Nobs.