ETHEL MERMAN

What a belter. She was loud, she was brash, and she had great hats. And, the mark of a true diva, she is frequently imitated by drag acts. Here she is giving her all in the famous 1954 film of the same name, I can't help miming along to this when I'm doing the ironing.

DOROTHY PARKER

The imcomparable Dorothy Rothschild Parker, critic, poet, short-story writer, screenwriter and civil rights campaigner. Star of the Algonquin Round Table 1919-1929. I am not worthy. But the woman who said "You can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think" deserves a prominent place in my pantheon. She took bitchiness to an art form, as the following quotes will attest:

"She speaks eighteen languages, and she can't say 'no' in any of them."

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."

"She ran the whole gamut of emotions from A to B."

"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."

"If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised."

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PENELOPE KEITH

Penelope Keith as either Margo Ledbetter in "The Good Life" or Audrey Fforbes-Hamilton in "To the Manor Born", or indeed just as herself, conveys the essence of Daphne. Or rather, what Daphne would like to be. She empathized enormously with the impoverished Audrey, a photo of whose eventual marriage to millionnaire businessman Richard De Vere she keeps in her wallet as a reminder that her ship may come in one day. She secretly practices announcing herself with "Daphne, Graefin von Fuchs-Langezeit zu Neanderthal, Guten Tag".

BARBARA CARTLAND

The late Miss Cartland was a great inspiration, particularly when it came to coordinating her outfits, she always had matching fur stole and dog. She was a great stickler for tradition in all areas of life, and I follow her example both in my table decorations and long winceyette nighties. She knew how to wear pink and as you can see, was a dab hand at putting on her makeup in the back of the Rolls on her way to a photoshoot. Delightfully mad and a prolific writer, one wonders if she were still with us, would she have been a blogger?

SIBYL FAWLTY

Although Sybil is slightly vulgar, with her adenoidal voice and her beehive hairdo, one has to admire her hotel management skills. Like Daphne, she had to deal with an idiot husband, as well as a mad Spanish waiter and a chambermaid with artistic proclivities. In Sibyl's place I'd have buried Basil under the patio and married the Major.

JUNE WHITFIELD, CBE

Try to ignore Lionel Blair prancing about in the background, have you ever seen the Queen look so happy as when she was chatting to June Whitfield? From Terry and June to Mrs Monsoon (oh that rhymes - did you see what I did there?) and more recently in Last of the Summer Wine, June has been a role model for Daphne with her elegant outfits, her graceful demeanor, her clear enunciation and her calm acceptance of the weirdos all around her. Rather like our own dear Queen, in fact.

"AUNTY" JOY PICKLES

Joy Pickles was a very early influence, as you can tell by the quality of this photograph. Star of such West End hits as Swingalongadante, Hamalongayorick, and the one which went straight to radio, Whizzalongawavelength, Joy and her stage husband "Uncle" Clarence were uncanny precursors of Daphne and Harold. They were once in a review group with famous comedian Arthur Smith. Joy (aka Babs Sutton) disappeared in Paris and was never seen again. Clarence is now a millionnaire and Arthur is a Grumpy Old Man.

BOADICEA

The Queen of the Iceni was a feisty dame, and much admired by Daphne's mother who named her daughter Daphne Boadicea Harridan in hommage to the rampaging monarch. It has been said (I will not say by whom) that Daphne lives up to the name when she is behind the wheel of a car.

BETTY BOOTHROYD

Despite her northern accent and her left-wing proclivities, Betty is a woman after Daphne's own heart. Like Daphne, she trod the boards in her younger days before turning to more serious things. As Speaker of the House of Commons Betty was always immaculately turned out, replete in full make-up, dress jewellery and manicured nails. Her sternly delivered "Sit down!" had Tory and Labour MPs alike quivering with masochistic delight. A lot of men would have paid good money for that kind of discipline.

JOYCE GRENFELL

The truly immortal Joyce Grenfell epitomizes the class, the elegance, the grace, and the humour that is Daphne. She also knew how to wear a flowery dress, which is even more impressive since she did most of her work on the radio.

MRS SLOCOMBE

Mrs Slocombe of "Are you being served" is rather evocative of Daphne's short stint working on the dress jewellery counter in a department store. Daphne however does not have a pussy.

DAME EDNA EVERAGE

The Australian housewife and superstar could be Daphne's antipodean twin - apart from the purple hair, the grating Aussie accent and the OTT specs. Edna and Daphne share exquisite dress sense, and an innate down to earth quality for which they are loved by millions. They are both, of course, widows, Edna's Norm and Daphne's Harold both much missed, although apparently useless when they were alive. But like the old troupers they are, they hitched up their support stockings and went on with the show.

HYACINTH BOUQUET

A good 50% of Daphne is shamelessly lifted from Hyacinth Bouquet of the comedy TV series "Keeping Up Appearances", played by the brilliant Patricia Routledge. Daphne shares Hyacinth's blatant snobbery, self-delusion, total obliviousness to other people's discomfort, obsession with What the Neighbours Will Think, love of entertaining, and of course a nice flowery dress. The hapless Richard was equally an inspiration for Harold, although the real Harold cannot be named for legal reasons.

MADEMOISELLE PIGGY

The porcine diva, with her magnificent bosom, her luscious locks, and her gorgeous frocks, is a seminal influence on Daphne, even down to our heroine's bizarre attraction to small green smart-ass frogs.

CHRISTINE HAMILTON

Another bossy deluded woman with a hapless husband. Christine somehow manages to evoke a dominatrix and a fluffy kitten at the same time. You can imagine she and Neil take turns in tying each other up (not too tight, dear, I've left something on the stove). Daphne admires her dress sense (navy blue and pearls, never dates) and her bravery after a cruel reversal of fortune.

FANNY CRADOCK

Daphne is an enthusiastic cook and loves entertaining. She was in her element when out in the tropics with Harold, floating about in a caftan with a small army of servants at her beck and call. Her menus are always rather reminiscent of the 1970's. Her culinary idol is Fanny Cradock, the inventor of the prawn cocktail and very bossy woman.

MAE WEST

There is a slightly raunchy side to Daphne occasionally. She likes younger men. Mainly because she refuses to accept that she is on the wrong side of 50 39 and thinks she looks a bit like Angelina Jolie in a good light, but also because they are strong and can carry heavy shopping bags. Her usual trick is to lure them with food and alcohol and then sequester them in her bedroom and subject them to gruelling acts of a lewd nature before taking them shopping. Few have survived.

MARGARET DUMONT

This statuesque and very funny lady was the perfect foil to Groucho Marx's leering smart-alec on the make. She was regal, wealthy and completely oblivious to Groucho's humour directed at her and his hand in her purse. A lot of people thought they were married in real life, although they were not. But they should have been.

MAGGIE MAGGIE MAGGIE

And talking of bossy women ... despite the instinct to gag felt by Daphne's creator every time she sees a picture of this woman, it has to be said there is an element of Maggie in Daphne. The conviction that she is always right, for example. However, Daphne is really a fluffy little kitten compared to the Iron Lady. Had Maggie tried wearing flowery dresses things might have turned out quite differently.

ANN ROBINSON

Daphne can be quite bossy sometimes, as the late Harold would attest, if he were still with us. Strong women tend to attract men who don't mind being dominated. In fact, some men quite like a bit of leadership in their woman. What's in it for the strong woman? Someone to carry the handbag, of course.