Daphne Wayne-Bough is a composite of many women who have inspired her creator. Here are Les Grandes Dames who are all facets of the wonder in a flowery dress that is Daphne.

Friday 19 September 2008

BETTE MIDLER


Everybody's favourite Yiddishe mama, she is a natural successor to Barbra Streisand (for the voice), Lucille Ball (for the gags) and Emu for the feathers. She was touching but a little more Scott than Janis Joplin in "The Rose". But if they ever do a remake of "Funny Girl", she's a cert for Fanny Brice.

Friday 12 September 2008

ALICE SAPRITCH 1916-1990

Pretty much unknown outside of the French speaking world, this great comic actress was a lady who knew how to wear a turban and wield a cigarette-holder. Battleaxe of the first order, she was a throwback to the 1920s and enormously popular in French comedy both on screen and in the theatre, where strangely enough, to my knowledge, she never played Lady Bracknell in any French production of "The Importance of Being Ernest", a role which could have been written for her. Her gravelly voice and strong bone structure elicited mischievous suggestions that she was a transvestite, but she was in fact a great beauty in her youth. Although she was inseparable from her partner Guillaume Hanoteau for 25 years, she never married and in her old age surrounded herself with young gay men, because, as she explained: "They are single. And they have cars. I always go out with two of them, one to drive the car, and the other to open the door for me." Of Turkish ancestry and educated in Brussels, she shares these two things with another great eccentric, Boris Johnson. She is probably best remembered for is her series of TV ads for cleaning products in the 1980s.


Monday 14 July 2008

LADY PENELOPE


Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward of "Thunderbirds" fame was a blue-blooded It Girl long before the likes of Tara Rara-Bonkington. The multilingual supermodel and heiress was International Rescue's London agent and, it was often thought, Jeff Tracy's bit of posh. She recruited safecracker Aloysius "Nosey" Parker to drive her pink Rolls Royce FAB1 and assist her with her secret agent duties - oh what I would give for a man in uniform to call me "Bilady". Lady P is always immaculately turned out, and the epitome of style, although she was criticised for smoking. Everything worth knowing about Lady P is in her Wikipedia entry, and as we all know, if it's on Wikipedia, it must be true. It is rumoured that Lady Diana modelled herself to a great degree on Lady Penelope, and on that fateful last weekend was in Paris trying to source a bottle of Milady's favourite perfume, "Un soupçon de péril".


Monday 2 June 2008

IT IS I, MICHELLE OF ZE RESISTANCE


"Leesten vairy carefully, I shall say zees only once ..." - Michelle Dubois, leader of the French resistance in Nouvion, was a role model during my years in France. I would often imagine myself crossing enemy lines dressed in a beret and white ankle socks, with a radio transmitter hidden under my raincoat. I suspect my resolve might have weakened in the face of a tall blond blue-eyed German soldier insisting on taking down my particulars, but I like to think I could have saved France.


Sunday 9 March 2008

ETHEL MERMAN

What a belter. She was loud, she was brash, and she had great hats. And, the mark of a true diva, she is frequently imitated by drag acts. Here she is giving her all in the famous 1954 film of the same name, I can't help miming along to this when I'm doing the ironing.




DOROTHY PARKER

The imcomparable Dorothy Rothschild Parker, critic, poet, short-story writer, screenwriter and civil rights campaigner. Star of the Algonquin Round Table 1919-1929. I am not worthy. But the woman who said "You can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think" deserves a prominent place in my pantheon. She took bitchiness to an art form, as the following quotes will attest:

"She speaks eighteen languages, and she can't say 'no' in any of them."

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."

"She ran the whole gamut of emotions from A to B."

"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."

"If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised."


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